


they say i did something bad // then why does it feel so good?

by killerleo



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2020-08-17
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:01:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25963264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/killerleo/pseuds/killerleo
Summary: anon request: seblaine sneaking around the new directions, possibly with taylor swift’s ‘i did something bad’ incorporated somehow
Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Sebastian Smythe
Comments: 15
Kudos: 97





	they say i did something bad // then why does it feel so good?

**Author's Note:**

> i got this request on tumblr and have spent the last week or so trying to write it, doing different drafts etc, so i hope it's ok to whoever requested it!! the song is sort of *loosely* incorporated throughout, some of the lines/themes etc but it's not a songfic in anyway :)
> 
> also i know this doesn't really fit in canon at all - blaine is a cheerio and they’re doing grease i know it’s all fucked i KNOW but just please go with it aha, don't think too hard. 
> 
> as always, all the thanks and love to quinn (@himbosamevans) for beta reading and encouraging me (bullying me) to keep writing and helping me out, ily queen.

“Seb, be careful, someone could see us.”

Pushing his boyfriend away when he had his lips on his neck and hands on his waist was always one of the hardest things Blaine had to do, depriving himself of something that felt so good and made his body weak. Spending time with Sebastian was something he never regretted, and always craved more of - both physically and emotionally, but it came with its risks. 

“Babe, none of your glee club are gonna be around at this time, it’s ok.”

Namely, that risk. 

The New Directions would never understand, never approve, and it would cause such conflict within the group at a time when they had to be a unit, and Blaine didn’t want to have that upon him. Despite being at McKinley for over a year now, he still felt that they all thought he had one foot at Dalton still, and having a public relationship with the captain of the Warblers would do nothing to dissuade from that theory. 

“I should probably get going anyway,” Blaine sighed, settling his hands on Sebastian’s hips and detaching their lips, pressing a feather light peck on his cheekbone. “Practice ended half an hour ago, so my parents are gonna start wondering where I am.”

They’d done what they often did, meeting after Blaine’s cheerio practices, walking hand in hand around the field together, leaning against one of their cars, listening to music on the bleachers. Dates and shared activities were sort of limited, unless they were at Dalton where they had Sebastian’s dorm, but the private school was slightly too far away for Blaine to visit all the time. So they took their moments where they could, even small snippets of being together the most fun he’d ever had. 

“Alright, we still on for tomorrow?” Sebastian replied as he stroked small circles on his waist, thumb tracing patterns against his polyester cheerleading uniform. His boyfriend leaned forwards, peppering kisses across his jaw and cheek, his other hand lightly playing with a loose curl, as tender and caring as ever. 

It broke Blaine’s heart to think that everyone thought of him as something bad, uncaring and egotistical, when the boy in front of him treated him better than he thought anyone could.

“Of course, dinner after the show?” he replied, melting into his touch even though he really should be pulling away.

Sebastian smiled down at him, pressing a kiss to his nose, his forehead, and finally to his lips, face cradled gently between his hands, something too romantic for the McKinley parking lot. “You know you’re gonna kill it, Teen Angel, no one is even gonna realise there were other kids in the show.” Blaine felt his nose scrunch a bit and a warmth to his cheeks at the compliment, but still didn’t try and fight it, like had so often done. 

Accepting a role in Grease had been hard enough, not thinking he could get through it, be able to connect with anything emotionally, and actually perform well enough to be in the show. It had taken Sebastian to make him get over that, start building up his own self worth again and stop any self loathing, which although wasn’t perfect, was improving. 

“Well, I hope you enjoy it anyway; the guys are coming, right?” Blaine had invited the Warblers, as he had done for West Side Story, not just because they were his friends but because it would be a lot less suspicious than if it was his boyfriend there alone. 

Sebastian nodded, eyes checking around once more before giving him a kiss, a hint of tongue darting at his lower lip. “Definitely, they can’t wait.” They exchanged one last embrace, holding each other fiercely in the graffiti coated car park, before Blaine begrudgingly pulled away, hand on the door of his car. 

“See you tomorrow,” he whispered, hating the way he always had to leave, but knowing he didn’t have any other choice.

~

They’d been sneaking around for a month now, four weeks of secret texts and illicit meetings, and Sebastian hated it.

He’d do anything for Blaine, give him anything, do anything, fly him around the world just to see a smile on his face. But meeting in private and hiding from the world made his heart break a little more each time, unable to stop feeling like some dirty little secret. 

Blaine had promised that he wasn’t ashamed of him, that he wasn’t embarrassed for them to be dating. And Sebastian believed him to an extent - he was enough of a narcissist to know that he was hot and fuckable, but it was the ‘relationship’ side of it that made him doubt his boyfriend’s feelings. 

As a surprise to absolutely no one, Sebastian had never dated anyone before, no entanglement lasting beyond the back seat of his car or someone else’s apartment building. But god, he wanted to prove himself to Blaine, prove he wasn’t some playboy that couldn’t hack monogamy, that he could serenade and woo and show him off as his one and only, if he could just be given the chance. 

However, Sebastian did understand.  His history with the New Directions was complicated and would fuck things up, cause drama and commotion that wasn’t fair on Blaine. Most importantly, he would never do  _ anything _ to screw up this relationship, the best fucking thing that had ever happened to him. 

He’d wanted Blaine from the second he saw him, but it wasn’t until he had screwed everything up did he realise that he loved him, and Sebastian wasn’t going to let that go. 

Every lingering touch they could spare, every quick glance or even just acknowledgement of one another in public electrified him, feelings that weren’t just base arousal, as he was used to, but ones that burnt his heart and curled his toes, hiding his phone screen from any peering eyes of the Warblers whenever he got a notification, not wanting to risk the Dalton gossip mill. 

“Smythe, I’d appreciate it if you’d sext your sugar daddy in your own time and not during rehearsals.” Hunter barked at him from across the senior commons, a constipated look on his face as per usual. At least the fucking cat wasn’t there shedding all over the place. 

“Please, don’t be jealous I can actually attract a man, you radiate chlamydia, Clarington,” he drawled back in response, earning a few snickers from his friends but mainly eye rolls, the Warblers used to their constant bickering by now. Sebastian knew the captain just wanted to fuck him. 

Hunter strode over, hand extended out and ignoring the scoff of laughter from Nick at his expense. “Let me see who you’re texting.” 

“What the fuck? No, this isn’t a gulag, you psychopath,” Sebastian spat out in disbelief, mild panic rising at the thought of his texts to Blaine being seen. He couldn’t risk his boyfriend thinking he’d spilled their biggest secret, what that would do to them. “I don’t have to listen to this shit, I’ve given you the choreography, so just start practising and keep Meatbox in the back, I’m out.”

He got up off the sofa and pushed past Hunter, earning confused looks from Jeff and Thad as he left and stormed out the room. It probably wasn’t the best move, and knowing their captain, he’d probably be made to take Mr Puss on walks or some shit, but it had gotten too close; a few different moves, and his relationship with Blaine would’ve been exposed. 

Sighing heavily and leaning against a wall of an empty corridor, Sebastian wondered if his boyfriend was having the same difficulties that he was. 

~

“Dude, that  _ is _ a hickey, you can’t lie to me!”

“I told you I fell over, ok, where would I even have gotten a hickey from?”

The locker room conversation had been going back and forth for a few minutes, Blaine still trying to vehemently deny that the mark on his thigh was not something from another person.

It totally was, as Sebastian had been over the previous night and had spent a very long time kissing and biting his body, leaving the occasional ‘accidental’ mark which he knew was probably purposeful. 

“Uh, you could’ve been hooking up with someone man, which is like, totally chill,” Sam replied with a clap to his shoulder and encouraging smile, his best friend as supportive as ever. Jake and Ryder offered nods next to him, both of them also having been joined in with the teasing. 

Blaine sighed and shook his head, finishing buttoning up his polo. “I’m not hooking up with anyone guys, now please can we just get to glee club and can all of you get your minds out of the gutter?” He stared at them pointedly, eyebrows raised as if daring them to continue, to which he was met with a chorus of unenthusiastic “yes, Blaine.”

They set off to the choir room, fairly worn out after their workout session, which they’d been trying to schedule in weekly, and Blaine was going to have to start remembering what day they did it, so Sebastian could stop getting him in trouble like that. 

Or just make him leave marks in slightly more private places anyway. 

Most people had already arrived when they walked in, the girls sitting around and chatting with their heads together. Tina looked up at them as the four of them came over to the chairs and straightened up from where she’d been leaning over Marley. 

“Ugh, I was just telling them how me and Artie saw loads of the Warblers in the Lima Bean this morning. Like, what are they even doing there?”

Blaine sat down next to her and raised his eyebrows, letting her put her legs over his own. “Uh, getting coffee probably? That’s not a crime TT.”

She waved a hand in his direction, huffing as if he just didn’t  _ get _ it. Which he didn’t. “Don’t they have like super fancy Dalton coffee, anyway? Sebastian was there, looking all tall and smug as per usual.”

He didn’t say that he knew he’d been there, seeing as his boyfriend had left his house and gone straight to the Lima Bean, wearing Blaine’s underwear. 

“I think he’s hot,” Kitty announced from the corner, not once taking her eyes off her phone. “Never met the guy, but you all talk about him enough that I looked him up.”

“Kitty, the enemy is not  _ hot _ . He’s an egotistical, narcissistic playboy who hurt Blaine and blackmailed Finn.” Blaine felt his pulse rise at Tina’s words, trying to stop his fists clenching up. They didn’t even know Sebastian, and yeah, he’d fucked up last year, but none of them had any idea how far he’d come and the person he was. His blood boiled at the hate directed towards his boyfriend.

“You know I forgave him for that, right? I don’t think he’s a bad guy.” It was the most he could say without risking exposing anything, but Blaine couldn’t physically sit there and do nothing, trying to keep the edge out of his voice. 

The rest of the room turned to look at him, very overdramatic expressions. “Blaine, he’s a bad person,” Artie supplied, arms crossed over his chest. 

“I think I’d be the best judge of what kind of person he is, I’m the only one that’s actually spoken to him,” Blaine fired back. He knew he had to stop, but this was his boyfriend, the person who helped piece him back together after he had shattered, doing more for him than anyone else ever had. Maybe Sam could’ve done it by himself, but Sebastian had gotten him in a way no one else could, and he owed his recovery to the both of them. 

“And you’re the one that was  _ blinded _ by him!” Tina snapped, and Blaine wasn’t sure what he would’ve said if Mr Schue hadn’t walked in in that moment, clapping his hands together to get their attention. 

Luckily they all seemed to get distracted by rehearsal to bring up any talk of Sebastian again, but Blaine remained frustrated and antsy throughout, leg bouncing up and down and fists clenched, wanting to just scream. 

They all said that Sebastian was bad, but then why did he make Blaine feel so good?

~

Sebastian was still fairly convinced that his boyfriend had lost the plot when he had invited him to his latest Cheerios performance, texting him that they were doing a pep rally for the football team and that he should come and to bring along some of the Warblers if he had wanted. 

He had replied instantly to clarify that he hadn’t been kidnapped or was being held hostage or anything, confused as to why Blaine would actually want him at Mckinley. His boyfriend had just said it was a big performance and he wanted him there, and well, Sebastian wasn’t going to complain. 

Which is how he found himself sitting in the bleachers alongside some of the Warblers, all out of their Dalton uniforms but still probably sticking out like sore thumbs. He’d only asked Nick, Jeff, Meatbox, Thad, and Trent, not wanting it to come off like a small army of private school boys, and increase the likelihood of a full New Directions attack. Mainly Sebastian was just thankful Hunter hadn’t followed them, he probably would’ve tried to bring the cat.

“So, why did Blaine invite you to this? Didn’t think he actually acknowledged your existence anymore.”

Nick’s voice drifted over to him, obnoxiously whispering in his ear as Duval tended to, never knowing when to shut the fuck up.

“I beg, can you just shut the fuck up for once? Annoy Jeff or something please, having to actually be at McKinley is bad enough without having to be here with you.”

That earned him a kick in the leg, Nick just repeating what he just said in a high pitched mocking voice, sliding down his seat slightly with his arms crossed. Sebastian was stuck between him and Meatbox so was going to have no fucking armroom, great. 

Luckily, the music then started up, field lights coming on to signify the start of the show, managing to stop anyone else trying to speak to him. Blaine was instantly recognisable, being one of the only guys but also just the most attractive one on the field, Sebastian unable to tear his eyes away for the entire performance. 

He’d seen the uniform countless times before - and taken  _ off _ the uniform countless times before - but he still never got tired of it, the cheap polyester turning him into some kind of jock with a cheerleader fetish. 

Well, it was pretty much just a Blaine fetish. 

The Warblers all stood and cheered once they finished, loudly whistling and chanting which drew a lot of unwanted attention from around them, although he swore he could see Blaine look up at them and smile especially, cheeks slightly flushed and curls coming loose on his forehead. Sebastian couldn’t help the grin that spread on his face, heart melting at the sight of his boyfriend, angelic and perfect as ever. 

Blaine was too good for him, but he knew he’d do anything to keep holding on. 

The stands started clearing out once the game was over, students and parents going down to the pitch to greet the players, a sea of red and white spilling out from the bleachers onto the grass. 

“Dude, come on, let’s go say hi,” Thad said as they dragged themselves up, weaving in and out of several stoned looking kids. “I can’t decide if I wanna bully him or congratulate him on being a cheerleader.”

“Do we really wanna be accosted by the New Directions, though?” Sebastian replied cautiously, even though there was nothing more he wanted to do than run down and grab his boyfriend, lifting him up so his legs would fit around his waist as they so perfectly did.

Nick just rolled his eyes and grabbed the sleeve of his jacket, pulling him along until they reached the grass. “He invited you, don’t be such a pussy, just cos you have a thing for him.” His crush on Blaine probably was the worst kept secret in Warbler history, which only made it harder when he couldn’t brag about how it was actually reciprocated, even if he didn’t know why. 

They made it about five more steps before their path was blocked by several people all with very unimpressed faces. 

“What are you doing here? Got more rock salt to spare?”

Sebastian tried to fight off a groan, managing to only roll his eyes at the sound of an accusatory voice cutting through the air. He looked to see one of the New Directions (yes, he knew her name was Tina, and yes, he hated himself for it) glaring at him with her arms crossed, shooting daggers from her eyes. 

“Believe it or not, Blaine invited us to come and watch the show, so maybe dial back the verbal assault, Lucy Liu,” he deadpanned, really not wanting to get in a fight in a school that had actual slushie stains on the walls. Some of the people with her must’ve been new since last year as he didn’t recognise a few, the feeling reciprocated as a mixed race guy leaned and whispered to a brunette, “who are these guys?” as she shrugged in return. 

“We’re some people from Blaine’s old school, he asked us to come see the rally,” Jeff offered politely, extending a smile their way, which was laying it on a bit thick if he was honest. The words ‘Dalton’ and ‘Warblers’ were distinctly missing, as they all knew the implications that came with that. 

A blond guy came jogging over (Sam, Sebastian would be the world's worst boyfriend if he didn’t remember  _ this _ guy’s name), tossing looks between the two groups of people but looking decidedly less annoyed than his peers. “Oh, hey guys, Blaine said he’d be over in a second, he and Britt had to talk to Sue.” He gave Sebastian a once over, an expression on his face that suggested he didn’t really know what to think.

“Did Blaine invite you?” he asked, an element of protectiveness in his voice. 

Sebastian gave a short nod, hands shoved deep in his pockets. “Yep, so please encourage your little gang of misfits to stop with the interrogation.” Sam paused, then just shrugged his shoulders and moved to talk to the guy in the wheelchair. From what Blaine had told him, he figured that the blond thought that them being invited was enough, and would take Blaine’s opinion over anything else. 

Tina didn’t look much impressed, giving him a dirty look up and down which was strangely intimidating - it’s official, Sebastian was going soft. “Well, you’ve seen the show, so now you can leave, go find another school to try and blackmail.”

Annoyingly, he knew he had to play the role of mediator instead of agitator for once, not wanting to risk his boyfriend’s disappointment in him if he escalated the situation further, even though it would be funny to do. 

“Look, the guys just want to see Blaine, congratulate him, and get out of your way, ok? It’s not all about show choir; believe it or not, some of us have lives.” It was as close to nice as he was going to get right now. 

Tina scoffed, stepping forwards with a finger extended to point into his chest. “You are the biggest narcissist I have  _ ever _ met, and there’s no way Blaine meant to invite you along with the other Warblers; you never even attended school together.”

The word 'narcissist’ slapped Sebastian across the face, sliding underneath a chink in his armour and causing more hurt than he thought it would. Because well, he sort of was a narcissist, or at least he used to be, he was trying  _ not _ to be. All he could ever think about was Blaine, anyway.

Sam stepped forwards, brow furrowed and hands spread in what looked like was going to be an attempt to calm things down, but eyes were drawn to the side by the arrival of Blaine, still in his uniform and jogging over. 

God, he was so relieved to see his boyfriend, even if it was physically painful to see him come over and not be able to wrap him up like he wanted to, tuck his curls under his chin and lace their fingers -

“Sebastian!” Blaine exclaimed as he approached, a wide smile on his face as he strode over and practically launched himself into his arms, going up on his toes and burrowing into his neck. It took a few seconds for his mind and body to synch up, before Sebastian found himself able to return the hug, somewhat smashing his face into the damp curls. 

There was complete silence all around them as they embraced, before Blaine pulled back slightly and then pressed their lips together, cupping his cheek with one hand. Sebastian was pretty sure his brain short circuited at that moment, letting his eyes close for a second and melting into his boyfriend's touch, not caring about their surroundings. 

Blaine separated them, settling back down onto the balls of his feet and grinning, staring up at him as if he’d lost his mind. 

“What the fuck,” exclaimed someone from nearby, and Sebastian didn’t even register who said it, too confused but elated at the sudden turn of events. Blaine turned on his heel and faced his classmates, both old and new, an arm tucked loosely around his boyfriend’s waist. 

“Sebastian and I are dating,” he announced calmly, breathing out before continuing. “We have been for a while now, and I asked him to keep it secret because I didn’t want you guys to freak out. But I don’t want to lie anymore, hide anything away when he makes me happier than I ever thought possible. So, yeah.”

Shocked faces stared back at them, some of the unfamiliar McKinley kids still looking a bit lost as the new ones were in more disbelief, the Warblers next to him just blinking rapidly. Before he could think to say anything - which arguably would just make things worse - Blaine’s hand entwined with his and he dragged them away, walking across the field in the direction of the carpark. 

~

Blaine wasn’t too sure when he knew he’d make that particular outburst - it had been in the back of his mind since he invited Sebastian to the pep rally, instantly after that glee rehearsal had ended where people had been making comments. It had been instinctual: he’d wanted to see his boyfriend, and couldn’t stand what they’d all been saying, even if he hadn’t thought it all through. 

And when he’d seen them on the pitch, stony faces and accusing tones, all he wanted to do was run into Sebastian’s arms and show everyone that he was  _ his _ , and he wasn’t ashamed. It had gone surprisingly well. 

As he stood in his boyfriend’s arms in the carpark, leaning against his vehicle with the sounds of the pitch behind them echoing throughout the lot and streams of students leaving the site, Sebastian stroked a gentle hand down his cheek, thumb swiping at his lip.

“Why’d you do it? I thought you wanted us to be a secret?”

The vulnerability in his voice was unmistakable, and it broke Blaine’s heart to realise how his boyfriend must’ve thought he was ashamed, guilty of  _ him _ . He leant up and pressed a feather light kiss on Sebastian’s nose, letting a hand stroke up and down his side. 

“I don’t want anyone to think you’re bad, when all you do is make me feel good.”

They moved together and joined their lips, public and adoring, not hiding from anyone anymore. Blaine felt his heart warm as he melted into the touch, knowing he’d do it over and over again, if he could.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading! i'm open to other requests as well, i'm @killer-leo on tumblr if you do wanna request anything, idk how good it'll be aha but feel free!!


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